I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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