I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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