She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
