singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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