I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All the doctor said was why
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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