i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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