Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry about my life...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
