I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
