He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
