Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
