I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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