She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
