I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
