He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
