I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
