dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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