Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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