she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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