Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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