I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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