all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
