she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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