i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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