i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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