you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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