i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
