operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
