i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
