i can't believe i had my finger in that
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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