glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
