You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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