btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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