were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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