Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
