Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
