He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
