I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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