I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
