I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
