Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
