My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
