Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
