There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
