How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
