and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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