that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
