The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
