At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
