This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
