Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
